Modern Poet Crazy Charle

Charles Evans ~ Spoken Word,
Radio/Tape Deck/Phonograph,
Baritone Saxophone, Housation
Modern Poet Tuxedo To Speedo

Evolution Of The Modern Poet

Born in 1997, the Modern Poet Crazy Charle began online antagonism and housation through the development of an original substitutionary language.  Following the direction of The Godfather Ross Smirne’s impeccable flow, The Modern Poet began online antagonism with Manupa de la Poopiera in the summer of 1997.  The pair became improvisers on the typewriter, never backspacing and keeping their works spontaneous.  The Minus-Plus Therom was added, which allowed the said improviser to subtract and add various letters to their typos and sort of "edit" there work.  This excellent technique, involving mass emails of spontaneous poems and sent to usually ungrateful recipients, would ironically emerge later in the young artists career.

The Modern Poet’s mentor is none other then bass angling pro, David Wolak, who is considered the founder of modern usage.  Crazy C was able to study vicariously through the Rees bassin’ brothers, and learn the legendary Wolak’s innovative vernacular.  Wolak devised a system of substitution, where one humorously replaces one or more words in a sentence with a related word.  For example, in English "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" could be stated in Charle "A Charlie Parker in the and is worth two in the George" or "Of a Leonard Feather in the who is Fort dos in the derividactory."[1]  In his own right, Wolak has been named Rookie of the Year on the BassMaster Tournament Trail. and is excelling in the art of catching Largemouth Bass consistentkonitz.[2]

What is interesting about The Language Of Charle is that anyone can speak the language in his or her own way, using personal information, and literally not be understood by anyone else.  This is similar to Digital Underground’s "The Humpty Dance".

Evans’ web site is one of the most incomprehensible that one could imagine, literally, and it gives little information about his musical pursuits.
~ Bill Donaldson, Cadence Magazine

Other excellent techniques have been implemented over the years, too numerous to mention.  One can consult The Modern Poet Society ( to further explore the evolution Of.  Antagonistic Art, a technique developed in Philadelphia where the sole purpose is to anger someone, has been used against various unfortunate victims, such as They Dunnaway.  Cutting thousands of photocopied heads of the unfortunate soul, members of the Founding Father’s, such as the Hoppel-long-Cassidy, would pluck and paste heads across the city.  Visit the soon-to-be-updated website for more information, with the opportunity to "print-cut-and-implement" your own sheet of Dunnaways.

The Modern Poet Live!

Neil the Banana Peel, a founding father in his own-write, has recently called the Modern Poet out of retirement.  Neil, a singer-song writer, has commissioned Crazy C to open up for him with a short housation.  The Modern Poet live is an experience like none other.  One could be shocked and awed by live bodybuilding and nonsensical poetry/housation, or be antagonized and disgusted by blatant self-destructive jokes and over-the-top political rhetoric.  One memorable gig occurred in early 2006, when The Modern Poet completely silenced and antagonized an unexpecting crowd (read housed) in a prestigious jazz club named Kavehez in Manhattan.  Following this "success", he moved to an off-the-edge-of-the-flat-earth-left, pinko/9-11 conspiracy theory coffee house in Brooklyn, equipped with AM radio samples of Michael Savage, an American flag, and a few things to say himself.

The Modern Poet Crazy Charle has observed that three of his influences, Tenacious D (Jack Black), Neil Hamburger, and Peter Evans, have a tendency to, in Jack Blacks words, "separate the art from the artist". Hamburger is really Greg Turkington, a normal guy, and Peter Evans is far from the antagonist he is on stage in real life.  Jack Black is "Zeus", "Elvis" on stage, but "plain old Jack" in real life.[3]  The Modern Poet attempts to channel all his odd characteristics (the truth really), directly into his art, and eventually undermine it by various extended techniques.  What he is onstage, like it or not, he is in person.  That’s not to say he’s a mean man, he’s actually a very nice virgin Catholic.  He’s also not always out-rageous; he likes playing sad, introspective Ballads about ex-girlfriends with the depressed romantic himself, Erik Dutko, for Pete’s sake!

Speaking of that, Crazy Charle has held on to his virginity, for various reasons over the years.  This deeply rooted belief began in the days of his Catholic upbringing.  Eventually, The Modern Poet changed his reasoning; he now wanted to experience this with one very special person.  Thus marriage was the closest one could get to this ideology.  Now, "Crazy" Charle has yit[4] again reevaluated his philosophy.  Through years of sexual frustration, he has reaped the benefits of self-abuse; virginity now serves as a catalyst for artistic creativity.  Time will only tell how long this quasi-Kierkegaardian teleology will last.

Performance Art Image 2

The Modern Poet’s two biggest influences are the governator, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and comedian Neil Hamburger.  Crazy C simultaneously expands and mocks the interesting activity of bodybuilding, where he spends months lifting weights and dieting to carve his body into stellar form.  The idea of "practicing" for a show, spending this amount of time at something for completely different reasons then your average bodybuilder, is very intriguing.  He may perform only a few times a year in this vein, but spends uncountable hours achieving this level of near-physical perfection.  His classic
"Tuxedo to Speedo" composition utilizes his language, politics, and housistitory prowess, concluding with a live pump-up and jingoist posing routine to the yakety country sax of Boots Randolph and Arnold’s classic 2004 Republican National Convention speech.

The Modern Poet plans to start a Bodybuilding Bebop project, which would entail rapid regurgitation of bebop vocabulary with live weight lifting and flexing on stage.  In this manner, he both mocks and reveres two ironically similar phenomenon; the muscularity, vanity, and insensitivity of flashy jazz joined with bodybuilding’s similar attributes.  This irony has been inspired by Moppa Elliott’s band, "Mostly Other People do the Killing", where Moppa’s mission is to simultaneously poke fun at and venerate jazz’s "pick-and-choose" history.  Indeed, they are the most hilarious jazz ensemble in the world.  Finding a schooled ensemble to handle Bodybuilding Bebop and excel to very high levels in both requirements shall prove to be a challenge of the highest order.

Performance Art Image 1

America’s Funnyman, Neil Hamburger, has been on a similar path as the Modern Poet.  Unknown at the time, Hamburger was destroying nightclubs with atrocious humor while Crazy C was antagonizing his online audience with cyborg poetry, and preempting "spams" annoying characteristics of years later.  Live, The Modern Poet uses a Hamburger approach of alienation, only talking in the Language Of Charle.  The concept of pursuing a goal, trying to tackle a life-long artistic mission, and undermining it at the last minute is becoming increasingly intriguing to The Modern Poet, and much more work needs to be done.  His sidekick Peter Evans, from The Language Of fame, would practice pointless self-antagonism by joining Crazy Charle on long NYC subway rides for no reason (such as the canceled jam session at Tommy Morimoto’s near Brighton Beach, Brooklyn, or the classic midnight Halloween mission to the dangerous Farr Rockaway in 2003).  This is similar in structure, but certainly not in intent, of Al Queda’s hideous totalitarian ideology of replacing the Constitution with the Sharii,[5] where Militant Islamists spend years plotting and learning tactics such as flying planes in order to ruin their own lives.  This is an existential view that seemingly contradicts Crazy C’s post-Chesterton Catholic views and
antagagnosticism.[6] In the words of Neil Hamburger, "Here’s a question I’ve often asked.  What if someone’s talent was in something that no one was interested in.  They could perceivably persevere forever, and get nowhere.  Eh.  Sometimes I’ve felt that this sort of pointless struggle was my calling in life."[7]

1  This is a word that can replace anything, and it also means "dingsbums" in German.

2  Utilizing a tritone substitution for "ly" at the end of the word consistently,
derived from saxophonist Lee Konitzs name.

3  Classic Tenacious D episode, "Angel in Disguise".

4  What are you out of it? ~ Charle.

5  Daniel Pipes, "Militant Islam Reaches America".

6  The blatantly arrogant mindset of the religiously insecure. ~ Charle.

7  Excerpt from Neil Hamburger, "Left for Dead in Malaysia."

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